On the recommendation of Tony Hedrick we recently watched the movie “Big Night”. This story of two Italian restaurant owners living in New Jersey is a great portrait of the immigrant experience (a subject dear to Julia) and great food (a subject dear to me). I get some light mocking for writing so much about Italian food in this blog, but if you get the chance to watch this movie I think you will understand. In fact, if you do watch this movie, I will volunteer Julia to make you a timpano. If you watch the movie, you will understand.
After the last post, in which I shared some thoughts about the fund-raising process, I received in return some very thoughtful and interesting responses, for which both Julia and I are thankful. However, I want to make it clear that I am not seeing this process as something negative, which I’m not sure I got across too well. I am trying to be honest about what this journey is like without sounding like everything is rosy and perfect all the time. Along with the great, encouraging parts of this process, there are challenges. I want to be honest about both without ignoring either.
And along the way, I feel like we are learning a lot. We learn at all stages of our lives, but taking a risk seems to accelerate the process. At this point, I feel like I am learning through the challenge to trust God to lead us to where we need to go by his strength, and not mine. In beginning our journey to Trieste we have submitted ourselves to a process where a lot needs to come together, including the sale of our house, raising the necessary support, packing up our belongings, and more. When I look at the enormity of it all, I have to honestly say that if God doesn’t come through, there is no way we can make it happen.
But at the same time, when the pressure is on, the tendency I think we all share is the desire to take the reigns and find a way to make it work. We hijack the process, and start pretending that we are God. This is the temptation I feel. It’s not always strong, but I know it’s there.
And yet, I can hear God reminding me of his faithfulness, and that this is his will for us. The ownership is his, and therefore so is the responsibility to make it happen. It is a burden we don’t need to bear, and feel much better when it is off our shoulders.
Of course we have a role to play, and it is not to sit idly on the couch waiting for everything to fall in our laps. And I don’t always have a clear understanding as to where my part ends and God’s begins. But I’m enjoying the chance to learn and grow and, for the most part, can look at this journey with incredible excitement and a decreasing amount of anxiety.