Father’s Heart

On our recent trip to Thunder Bay we got a chance to catch up with our old friends, friends we haven’t seen in more than a decade. We met at a park, so our kids could play and we could talk in peace. We were truly engrossed in the conversation as there  were many topics to cover, but every so often my friend’s daughter, who was was amazing on the monkey bars and every other climbable piece of equipment, called out, “Mommy, watch me, watch me!” And every time my friend would stop talking, look at her daughter and say, ” I see you, honey!”  And a big toothy grin would immediately be flashed at us.

This desire to be noticed changes with age but never truly goes away. We all strive for affirmation in our lives, it validates our efforts and gives us strength and courage to go on.  I lost my dad almost 4 years ago, I couldn’t fly home to Russia for the funeral because his death was sudden and, because my Canadian passport was in the process of being issued, I was not allowed to leave the country. Not being able to bring closure on the relationship that was strained and tumultuous I was forced to seek comfort  in the arms of my heavenly Father. Little did I know that it was going to be the beginning of a life-long journey of learning what it means to be a father’s daughter. He’d shown me what I thought of Him and He has shown me of what He thinks of me. Those two pictures collided and caused me great pain but also brought me so much joy from the knowledge that I was so WRONG.  This Father’s heart is full love and compassion. He is not judgmental and He does not withdraw affection from being disappointed. He could be relied on in all circumstances. Because of this relationship with Him I have inheritance in the Kingdom.  And this Father extends His love equally to ALL of His children.

This past week-end I was reminded of His love for me once again. I attended a conference in Seattle with Ivan and Isabel Allum as main speakers. I went to the conference because I was feeling tired and needed something extra to give me a boost. I wanted to know all the answers. When is our house going to be sold? When are we going to be able to give people a firm date of our departure to Italy? Does He even see how tired we are?

On the very last day of the conference when the Lord finally spoke back to me I was completely disarmed. I felt like my Father pulled me in for a big affectionate hug and said: “Well done my good and faithful servant. And, by the way, I SEE YOU!”

Now being back at home I am pondering God’s words and wondering what is next. My circumstances haven’t changed but the burden has been removed by the loving hand of the Father.  What a great feeling that is to be able to rest in Him and trust the journey!

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